#CatchAll

There wasn’t a day in our home when a remote control or the cordless phone didn’t go missing. We have at least five of them scattered in and out, over and under, within and without our small living room. When someone asks, the answer is always, "I didn’t use it," if you get an answer at all. It’s always assumed it’s a rhetorical question. Almost always, the culprit couch gets the blame. Its throw pillows get very naughty sometimes -they swallow small gadgets when no one is looking.

"Enough is enough is enough," said the wife. Wait, isn’t that too much?

Anyway, she found a solution while browsing an online catalog looking for items to buy during this month’s 08.08 sale. She found the #CouchCaddy -the answer to all things missing. Including #MentalHealth.

Now, it’s not only the RCs that this caddy holds -skin lotions, nail clipper, cables, sports watches, medicine, dental floss, scissors, golf club trainer, French fries, chips, screw drivers, coins, chopsticks. We need ten more of this. And one that can hold an espresso machine and a fire extinguisher. You can never tell, right?

Cheers! #MyCafeNotes

That, Then. Now, This

They say, "When it rains, it pours."

I initially didn’t want to write about this for two reasons:

One. I didn’t want my readers to think that this writer has only a few years left writing and breathing. That I am falling apart already. Then you cry because you will miss me. Terribly.

Two. When you’ve got something bothering you with a rhythmic throbbing pain, inspirations find it hard to come by. It doesn’t want me to write about anything else.

Gout. Yep, that’s what it is. Age is really catching up on me despite my 5k runs. Literally and figuratively. My fault really. Last weekend, to celebrate our anniversary, the kids ordered seafood bags with crabs, mussels, clams, shrimps and squid cooked in spicy chili sauce. They came in two large food-grade thick plastic bags. I cheated not only by eating to my tummy’s gluttonous content (I am a vegetarian), but also, and I say this with my head down in shame, I ate with my hands.

Then, to cap the night off, half-a-bag of spicy peanuts while watching Netflix.

So there. Blame it on my kids. But I am a happy man. I am limping. But happy.

Cheers! #MyCafeNotes

Designer iBags

One morning I woke up with puffy bags under my eyes hanging so beautifully that, if I’m not careful, LV & Hermes knockoff designers might copy. The next morning, they were still there. And the next. This morning, I had to call TSA for the lock codes. Am I getting vain and conceited at nearly 62 years antiquated? Why the concern? The business of looking young isn’t actually a personal concern. It’s more of a business matter. In the design industry where I belong, 990 out of 1000 people I come eyebag to eyebag with are millennials who end every sentence with a question? They look at you from head to toe? stopping briefly where the eyebags hang? Yeah, them. Ten out of those 1000 are octogenarian CEOs who either suffer from senility or suffer from senility.

My daughter Nikkei, our in-house skin care guru thinks it’s only surgery that can fix them. I was hoping that she recommends an eyepatch brand that works miracles. But this is too big a miracle for any product to pull off. But I am not losing hope. If #RichardBranson can space travel, I can dream big.

I am not despondent. Just making fun of myself. I feel good. Especially with this cup of coffee.

Cheers! #MyCafeNotes

Honeymoon Mishits

Before getting into the steamy details, let me bore you first with this:

"𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑐𝑎𝑚𝑒 𝑎𝑡 𝑙𝑎𝑠𝑡 𝑖𝑛 𝑟𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑤ℎ𝑖𝑡𝑒

𝑆𝑜𝑜𝑛 𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑟𝑚𝑒𝑑 𝑠𝑤𝑖𝑓𝑡𝑙𝑦 𝑏𝑦 𝑓𝑙𝑎𝑠ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑙𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡𝑠

'𝑆ℎ𝑒’𝑠 ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒, 𝑠ℎ𝑒’𝑠 ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒!' 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑎 𝑠ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑡

𝑊𝑒𝑑𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑠𝑢𝑟𝑒 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑒 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡."

Excerpts from the poem I wrote for my wife on our first year anniversary. I wrote it because no matter how much I try to remember, brain cells will always forget. I didn’t want to forget. In many weddings where I was made to say something to the bride and groom, I always say, "In the future near or far and in between, and you’re lonely, or happy, or angry, or jealous, or horny, think of this day and how you feel today. It will always make a difference. Notches better." I walk the talk.

But I never give honeymoon tips because mine went… never mind.

During our honeymoon in HK, I was keeping score -not the sort that may cross your sanitized mind, but of the number of times my bride went to the toilet because of a sick stomach. My engineering calculations were used in the most regretful and lamentable application. I couldn’t even face my chicken dinner.

But I am writing about it because no matter what happened and unhappened, I was with my bride. It was the honeymoon period of our life when the skies were always blue, even if they were not. That time when a fart was gloriously romantic and a burp pleasingly charming. Together, they were melodious.

These days, they may sound pitchy and ill-timed. But I walk the talk. I go back in time to those honeymoon days. And I smile again.

With my beloved, lovely, beautiful bride. That last line -it doesn’t change.

- - - - - -

Happy 27th anniversary, my Doe-a-Dear. I love you dearly.

Your Buck.

Cheers! #MyCafeNotes

Tingi-tingi Mentality

Is there a country outside of the Philippines where one can buy a piece of candy, a stick of cigarette or a sachet of toothpaste good for a day’s use? The last time I checked when I was abroad and was in need of paracetamol, I couldn’t buy just a couple of tablets -they all come in packs.

There are obviously some advantages in this 𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘪 or sachet mentality especially for those who can only afford little but isn’t that in itself a pitfall? A friend in the industry once told me that since there is a venue for Pinoys to work for just a day, earn for just a day and buy for just a day, they’d take it. And opportunists and business sharks take advantage by feeding them with sachets, with grams and with milliliters instead of boxes, kilograms and liters. Wonder no more why people sell their votes for P100. Perfectly content even for a day.

This is a wild thought and easier written or said than done -what if we remove 𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘪, will people dream bigger and work for something bigger? For a month’s supply as opposed to a day’s? Build a grocery store instead of a sari-sari? Travel by plane instead of a tricycle? Pinoys aren’t the most natural fit for change. But I could be wrong.

I am still sleeping. Dreaming. My coffee, please.

Cheers! #MyCafeNotes #TingiMentality #SachetMentality

Pole Vault Abstracts

After watching the finals of the #PoleVault event at the #Tokyo2020 Olympics yesterday in which a Pinoy was competing, I thought what a strange sport it is. It isn’t something like basketball or tennis where you could ask a buddy for a friendly match.

"Let’s go pole vault! I brought two poles in the car. I can lend you one." It just doesn’t fit, does it?

I wonder if a player would just pole vault his way into his girlfriend’s room when visiting. Or into his office on the 7th floor.

Or, "Make way! I’ll pick some coconuts for mommy. She’s making 𝘣𝘶𝘬𝘰 salad."

My coco is going nuts thinking of all the possibilities I could do if I were a pole vaulter. I am nothing short of loony this morning. I was waiting for this cup to sanitize my thoughts. I am due for one.

Oh, here it is!

Cheers! #MyCafeNotes

No Space in the Fridge

Why is the refrigerator always full? It’s been one of the mysteries that the modern world has not been able to unravel. At least in my household. This problem remained even if we’ve upgraded from a one-door fridge, then to a two-door and finally, to one that has 16 doors and drawers -just a slight exaggeration there but you know what I mean. It is never enough.

It didn’t do any good even after I’ve made it illegal to stow shoes and raincoats inside the refrigerator. It’s just that everyone feels guilty throwing away left-over foods. So much hunger in the world, y’know. So in the fridge we store. But when the same food dried up and hardened or got spoiled or covered with mold, then it is thrown away without remorse. And when that happens, a new space is then made available for the next left-over food. First in, first out. That’s the unwritten rule.

We’ve made big steps towards beating this baffling predicament, though. At least once a week, Masterchef Rissa takes out whatever is still edible, waves her magic spatula and turns them into an ensemble of throwback delish. If after then, we still have left-over left over, that guilt may return but we don’t care anymore. The big time pleasure of looking at the wide spaces in the fridge trumps all guilt feels.

Cheers! #MyCafeNotes