Vacation Mischief

Back in the days when we were in elementary school, the word “vacation” had a different meaning for us. It wasn’t about flying off to some faraway land, staying in fancy hotels, and doing a marathon of sightseeing and shopping. No, sir. Our version of a vacation was a trip to our aunts’ place in Olongapo City, a mere 25 kilometers and a swirling 40-minute bus ride away from our humble barrio in Dinalupihan, Bataan. This epic vacation usually happened during the summer months of March to April when school was out.

Our aunts -bless their heavenly hearts, owned a grocery store, and we, the little vacationers, were expected to be their delightful honorary helpers. Sure, they had a saleslady, and a designated go-fer, but a couple of extra pairs of little hands were always warmly welcomed.

The store itself was a mere 10-minute walk from our aunt’s house, nestled in the local city market. But the core of this story, the warehouse, was right there in the house. Most of the deliveries happened here, and this was where the real fun-in-a-vacation kicked in.

Back in the good old days when little dinosaurs were still domesticated, biscuit cans like Skyflakes, Fita, and La Pacita were not sealed like they are now. Also, those glass jars of pickles? Not tamper-proofed. I’m betting my bangs you can sense where this story is headed. Sanitize your dirty minds because, yes, you’re absolutely right.

Before these goodies were shipped off to the store for selling, we engaged in a little pre-shipping quality control. In simple English: we opened, plucked out some samples for ourselves, closed them back up, and gave the can or bottle a good shake to even out the space. Crafty, right? Use your imagination: cute 9-year-old twin boys, one holding a flashlight, the other skillfully opening a can, both sharing muffled giggles, as one keeps a watchful eye on the door. Yep, we were the inspirations for the Hardy Boys. We learned this fine art from our older brothers and a cousin, the true masters of mischief.

Now, in our golden years, we still fondly recall these little mischievous acts and share hearty laughs about them. After all, what’s a vacation without a sprinkle of adventure and a dash of mischief, right? We were so full of them.

Cheers to the good old days!

If you’ve been touched, amused, or entertained by this post, or it put a smile on your face, please favor me with a cup of coffee via GCash or PayPal. I will continue writing.

Scan a code, or click here to go to PayPal.

Drive-Thru Show

Early on a Saturday morning, as my family and I embarked on a visit to relatives, the idea of grabbing breakfast on the go led us to choose the drive-thru at a Jollibee store. The queue was quite long, and as we inched closer to the ordering window, the smell of Jolly Longganisaand Pancake meals transformed us from hunger to hungerest.

Finally reaching the first of two windows, we placed our order, paid, and eagerly awaited our Jolly feast in silent starvation. Little did we know, a visual feast was about to unfold before us.

Approaching the second window to claim our order, the drama began to roll. With a friendly wave, the Jollibee crew welcomed the car in front of us. But, to our collective surprise, the driver ignored the friendly gesture. Instead of pulling up to claim their Jollibee meals, the driver steered towards the golden arches of a McDonald’s store, conveniently located just in front of the Jollibee store. It was a moment of sheer confusion for the crew, and we couldn’t help but scratch our belly in disbelief.

The dumbfounded looks on the faces of the crew told me they had forgotten their lines for this one-act play. I leaned forward and casually assured them, “Don’t worry, they’ll be back after their fast-food tour of the area.”

As we savored our Jollibee breakfast treats in the car, we engaged in some serious discussions, pondering over what might have possibly gone awry. Was it a sudden change in taste preferences, an unexpected kick of Alzheimer’s, or perhaps the passengers were undercover drive-thru detectives on a hurried mission?

Regardless, it was a hilarious twist to our otherwise ordinary drive-thru experience, turning a routine breakfast run into an unexpected comedy sideshow – all for free!

Here’s to fast-food drive-thru lanes that offer accidental entertainment for appetizers. Juicilicious!

Cheers!

If you’ve been touched, amused, or entertained by this post, or it put a smile on your face, please favor me with a cup of coffee via GCash or PayPal. I will continue writing.

Scan a code, or click here to go to PayPal.

A Wake Awakening

Strange and stranger things happen during eulogies. Words you hear can stir your emotions unexpectedly so, because, for me, I don’t claim to have been close to the person being eulogized. I couldn’t even recall an instance where we shared a common dining table to have a little chit-chat. But I nearly cried. Eyes welling up isn’t considered crying, is it? Tears must fall -that’s my definition.

In the silent atmosphere of the chapel. -although not without scattered suppressed giggles, the daughter’s narrative of witnessing her mother’s last breath shortly after whispering words of forgiveness and gratitude, echoed beyond the room into my undeparted soul.

Strange, ain’t it? In the absence of shared dinner, my being found a link to that human experience of grieving that cuts across the familiar and the typical.

Oh wait, there is something. Even if I’ve not spent any time with the departed worthy of a eulogy that makes people cry, I found her as someone who was of a kind spirit. Warm and gentle. Not much with words but just with her presence. I admire people like that. There you go. There’s the connection. Also, she was my nephew’s mother-in-law.

In the end, what began as a somewhat usual moment of almost crying during a eulogy turned into realizing the unseen threads that link us together. Like flowers in a wreath.

Well, coffee, too. Cheers!

If you’ve been touched, amused, or entertained by this post, or it put a smile on your face, please favor me with a cup of coffee via GCash or PayPal. I will continue writing.

Scan a code, or click here to go to PayPal.

My Unforgettable Newscaster Audition

Ahh, the New Year -a time for new beginnings, right? No, this post isn’t about resolutions for the new year. When the time is right and if I’ve resolved to cut procrastination, I might write something about resolutions. For this issue, let’s dive into a new beginning that I once dreamed would happen during its time -being a TV newscaster.

In the annals of auditions, mine for a newscaster role holds a special place -not for its success, but for its hilarious blunders. It happened during the time when my bangs were in a precarious wavy situation -half of them had decided to wave goodbye. Letting the bang-gones be bygones, I baldly walked into the audition room, cool on the outside, just a tad nervous within.

As I sat in front of the teleprompter, a mouthful came up -not words but saliva buildup. With each sentence, I struggled with the impending swallow, hoping to maintain my composure with a forced smile. I yakkity-yakked on, reading the news with an unintended dramatic flair, trying to cross Noli de Castro and Mike Enriquez with every syllable. Added a bit of Larry King, too -the hair, you know.

Now, my OOTD. While today’s newscasters don the classic black coat and tie combo, I opted for something more suitable for a beach party. Yes, you read that right. Hawaiian shirts and breaking news -what could go wrong?

What brought me to this memorable audition? A well-meaning friend who believed my dashing looks and English-American accent would kill it. In her eyes and ears, I was destined for the Best in Newscast Award, Summer Edition. I delivered the news with gusto, imagining CNN or BBC scouts lurking in the grandstand, ready to pirate me away for international stardom.

Sadly, the call from the global news giants never came. My dreams of acquiring a posh cockney accent were bloody stricken through. My friend, the talent scout, disappeared into the thin airwaves, leaving me with half a handful of bangs, a wardrobe malfunction, and the lingering taste of unsweetened saliva.

In the grand scheme of auditions, mine might not have been a success story, but it sure is a coffee tale to tell. Lesson learned? Sometimes, it’s the unexpected moments that make life truly entertaining, especially when you look back at them. I made them happen when I could. And who knows, maybe one day I’ll be the anchor of a news show for the elderly, Hawaiian shirt and all.

“Aloha viewers, before we start with the headlines -Please. Turn. Up. Your. Volume!”

Cheers!

If you’ve been touched, amused, or entertained by this post, or it put a smile on your face, please favor me with a cup of coffee via GCash or PayPal. I will continue writing.

Scan a code, or click here to go to PayPal.