That day came without notice. In fact, it hadn’t even started yet as I was still in bed when the call from Gigi, my sister-in-law, came telling me she’s gone. My dear Inang, 100kms away from us, succumbed to heart failure due to asthma, 19 years ago today.
I don’t remember anymore how I responded. Half awake, it jolted all my senses. A few minutes later, we were all up, calling everyone. In a few more, we were on the road to Bataan. My mind wandered. What happens now? I was numb.
My mother lived with asthma all her life. I’ve seen her suffer, grasp for air during attacks. It was painful even for a little child like me then to see her in such pain. She endured with all her might -for us, until she couldn’t anymore. That pain died with her, of course, but a new one replaced it. The pain of not being able to see or touch her again -still resides in me.
I can live with this pain if it’s the only thing that reminds me of you, Inang. A lovely soul left this world for a place you never have to endure any.
I’ve never heard you tell me I was a good son. I didn’t ask you to do so because you showed it much. It doesn’t matter now. I can just look up in the sky, and even in this world’s madding noise, I’d hear you say in my deepest core, “I love you, my boy. You’re a good son.”
This I believe because I have kept you there, closest to my heart, where no noise could ever drown out.
I love you, too, Inang. Cheers!
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